Oh, the little boy who never used to leave my saree pallu, is all grown up now!! Aah, you are stepping into the world of adulthood, leaving behind a wonderful childhood and teenage behind. The young boy is now a young man. I had to keep my ears and eyes open for your cry and calls, earlier. Now I need to watch out for the pretty gals who want to “ensnare” my handsome son!! Ha-ha, I know you are frowning and making angry faces, but I am an Indian mother, you see!! Try as I might, I cannot shrug off my “mother-in-law” instinct which rears its ugly head ever now and then. How would I otherwise explain the uneasiness when your friends, who are girls, come home. Why do I feel that my son is an innocent guy and girls are waiting to ensnare you? Aaah… the mom-in-law is raising her ugly head again!!
But yes, I will place your happiness above anything else, even my own emotions and wants. If you like someone who I am not particularly fond of, I will still accept her. You and your happiness count more than my feelings and wishes. I would, however, ask you not to commit yourself to anyone at least for the next 5 years or so, till you are mature enough to understand compatibility, intellectual companionship and importance of finding a good life partner. She should be a good girlfriend and wife to you all your life. A woman, who retains her youthfulness of thought, romantic and bubbly nature, while fulfilling her role as a wife and mother, is a blessing indeed. Yeah, goes without saying that you should be a perfect counterpart to her, by imbibing these qualities. I would be happy to see my son being a good husband and a father!! But after 5 more years, mind you!!
I am also scared. Its particularly important to make you understand that treating women with respect and dignity is non-negotiable and I know that you have watched and assimilated these qualities from your father. I am however, compelled to tell you to be careful. A girls’ complaint is enough to bring down the reputation of a man. She can destroy him in a second, by declaring things against and maligning a man. You know the many cases which have happened in the recent past. Years of hard work and respect have come crashing down due to a single allegation from a woman. Just like all men aren’t bad, all women aren’t bad either. But yes, it pays to be cautious with people and not let your guard down much. No incriminating letters, videos, messages, and stuff, please. Let us not be paranoid but be prepared in life.
The death of a famous movie star has brought the vulnerability of men to the fore. If, as the media says, he was held emotionally captive by a girl I shudder to think what could happen if a man deeply loves a girl and she betrays him. Also, when one is emotionally weak and cannot take the rubbish which life throws sometimes, its easy to fall prey to anyone who offers us an emotional anchor. People are nasty, they favor nepotism, they insult us, pull us down, but let’s not succumb. Let’s not go into fire from a frying pan and into the arms of any scheming person, girl, or guy.
Keep talking to us. Be it your success, failure, or anything else. None of us tasted only good things and its especially important to share the negative moments too. Be assured that family will support you, no matter what. Never, I repeat, never stop telling us and confiding in us. We are just a call away… anytime of the day or night. Yes, we might berate you but will never condemn you. We will of course not tolerate if you indulge in any anti-social or self-harm, but our words will be directed to guide you down a better path, not worse.
I want you to promise me that you will sponsor at least one child’s education in a year. Not just give money but take the child under your wing, mentor it and take interest in its wellbeing. Give back to the society as much as you can, by cash, kind, or your time. The joy you will get from these is unparalleled and you will feel fulfilled. Earmark some part of your income every year and spend it on deserving people, especially children. It goes without saying that do not advertise it anywhere, especially on social media. But yes, claim tax deduction as you will be able to help more people with that saved money!!
Am sure, you would be thinking that I am speaking like a typical mother. Yes, I am a mother first, a friend later. You might find many friends but there will be only one mother!! Yes, a typical movie-dialogue, for a typical mother!! I wish I could have a beer with you, but I don’t like its taste and yes, I do not want a beer belly!! I assure you that I will keep myself fit mentally and physically and would never be a burden to you. So, lets chat over a cup of chai and biscoot!! Cheers!!
Views expressed above are the author’s own.
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